Troubled times. Joanna Gaines is opening up about moments when she and husband Chip Gaines‘ “hearts were broken” during their nearly two-decade marriage. The home renovation guru shared her recollections in the fall 2022 issue of their quarterly lifestyle magazine, Magnolia Journal.

“In our 20 years of marriage, Chip and I have experienced a little bit of all of it … Times when all hope felt lost, and circumstances were out of our control. When all I could think to do was lay face down on the floor in surrender,” Joanna, 44, confessed, adding that the couple went through, “moments where our hearts were broken.”

Jo shared that the pair are about to go through another “heartbreaking” experience as their eldest child, son Drake, 18, is about to move out and begin college life.

“Soon, our oldest son, Drake, will be leaving home for college. In the grand scheme of heartbreaking things, this one comes with a lot of gratitude and excitement. But still, my first child is moving away, and our family dynamic will change because of it, and that can feel like a loss of its own,” Jo shared.

“I catch glimpses now of what that life will look like and wonder if — or how many times — that might bring me to the floor,” she added. The couple will still have four children at home, daughters Ella Rose, 15, and Emmie Kay, 12, and sons Duke, 14, and Crew, 4.

The Waco, Texas, residents began dating in 2001 and married two years later on May 31, 2003. Less than six months after that, her dream came true when they opened up a small boutique, Magnolia Market.

The couple rocketed to fame in their HGTV home renovation series, Fixer Upper, which had its initial run from 2013 to 2018. Their popularity spawned home decor retail collections, their own magazine and eventually their own TV network, Magnolia, formerly the DIY network, which launched in January 2022.

Jo and Chip previously revealed that despite any ups and downs in their marriage, divorce was never an option.

“One thing that I would say is our superpower is that Jo and I are not quitters,” Chip, 46, told Access Hollywood in June 2021, adding, “Throwing in the towel is not something honestly that ever even comes to mind.”

“Somehow that little foundation has definitely served us well because, things have definitely been challenging. We’re not perfect and we have issues and trials and errors just like anybody,” he continued while stating that “early” in their marriage they both agreed, “divorce or leaving one another is not really an option for us.”