Cher smiled for the cameras as she arrived at the Valentino show with her boyfriend during Paris’ recent Fashion Week. Earlier, the couple basked in the glow of the spotlights in the front row of the Balmain Spring/Summer collection showcase.

Even as she makes high-profile public appearances in preparation for the release of her upcoming Christmas album, Cher’s heart is miles away with her troubled son, Elijah Blue Allman, who is reportedly in a Pasadena, California, rehab dealing with substance abuse issues. In September, Elijah, a musician, was discovered lying on the sidewalk outside of Sunset Boulevard’s Chateau Marmont hotel. “At first he looked like he was dead, but he had in fact passed out,” said a witness.

Elijah, 47, has a long history of substance abuse, which Cher has been trying to help him kick. Last November, his estranged wife, Marieangela King, said that four men hired by Cher removed Elijah from their New York hotel room and brought him to a treatment facility. “Cher stepped in because that’s her son and he needed help. She’s helped him before and she’ll continue to do it if he needs it,” says a friend. “She will always put Elijah first.”

Of course, Cher’s been down this road before, most notably during her four-year marriage to Elijah’s father, the late guitarist Gregg Allman. “Nobody ever made me feel as happy as Gregory did,” she once said. “He’s the kindest, most gentle, loving husband and father. But then, he forgets and everything goes to s–t.”

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Following their divorce, Elijah, their son, said he felt “shunned” by his mother for sending him to boarding school at age 7. “I would come home on the weekend and me and my friends would go up to Harlem and get into all kinds of trouble,” Elijah confessed in 2014. “It’s actually shocking to think about myself at, like, 11 years old buying drugs in Harlem.”

Cher had hoped that Elijah’s wife, Marieangela, would be a good influence, but that has not been the case. “It’s not that Cher doesn’t get along with her,” explains the friend. “She just wants the best for her son, and from what she has seen, they’re not good for each other. But Cher doesn’t tell Elijah who to be with, that never works.” For the time being, Cher is taking a wait-and-see attitude.

Cher wears feathered outfit with son Elijah
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Elijah has overcome many challenges before, including a serious case of Lyme disease in 2007. He has also gone through several periods where he embraced sobriety, so his mother remains hopeful, yet realistic. “She knows better than anyone that you can’t say, ‘This will be the time Elijah gets it.’ He’ll get it when he’s ready. She knows sobriety isn’t for everyone — she can’t force anyone to get clean.”

In the past, Elijah has blamed his mother’s self-absorption for his troubles, but in his heart, he knows Cher will always be there for him. “It’s a lifelong struggle,” says the friend, “but I think this crisis will make them closer. They’re family and will always have that connection. Cher has hope and she is not giving up on her son.”

However, she also refuses to beat herself up over Elijah’s problems. “Cher has blamed herself in the past; she wished she’d done some things differently,” admits the friend. “But she’s also worked an Al-Anon program, which has shown her that it’s not her fault. Elijah makes his own decisions.”