So in love! Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott don’t credit luck for their almost 13-year marriage. The 52-year-old actor and his wife, 45, recently sat down for an interview with Us Weekly and candidly revealed that there are three very important reasons why they have been married for so long — and the first has a lot to do with showing each other that they care.

“Finding those moments in the crazy-busy day to make eye contact, to kiss, to say ‘I love you,’ to touch in some form, I just feel like that’s really important,” Dean gushed before Tori chimed in with, “If you go through your busy life — we’re working, we have kids — if you don’t take a moment, you’ll realize the entire day is gone, and you haven’t had that moment together and then it’s over. So we make sure we do that on a daily basis now.”

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Tori added that it’s very important to communicate with your partner because once she and Dean learned how to communicate their wants and needs better, it “changed everything” for their relationship. “We started this some years back,” she said. “We communicate now, I have a voice. He probably hears too much of it but he [is so] good at listening. Women like to talk and over-explain.”

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Saying “I love you” and being great at communicating aren’t the only reasons why Tori and Dean have been married for so long. The actor also jokingly revealed that touching Tori’s derriere has made him quite a happy man. “I have to touch her butt every day,” he laughed. “It started on the red carpet. It started off as a nervous thing because she was so used to red carpets and I got thrust into it and my hand just went to her butt, and I was like, ‘Ahh, such a safe place, I’m okay now.’”