At age 49, Jennifer Lopez has lived through some tough heartbreaks. Her past three marriages to Ojani Noa, Cris Judd, and her latest to Marc Anthony have all failed. And now, in a new interview with Peoplethe actress is recalling why her past romances have never worked out. Jennifer believes that she had to eventually face the ugly truth that her lovers weren’t the problem — it was actually her.

“I was done blaming other people — he did this or he did that — and I said to myself, no, it’s you,” she explained. Jennifer also admitted that she had to work with a therapist to learn how to have a successful relationship. “Until I could really learn to be happy on my own and love myself, these relationships were never going to work out, no matter what. That was a big turning point for me.”

Getty Images

Jennifer recalled the moment when she started to question why her past relationships never worked out. She concluded that it had something to do with her never wanting to be alone. “I grew up sharing a bed with my sisters from the time I was born, [and then] it was one boyfriend, and then another, and then a husband, and [so on], and I realized you’ve never been alone,” Jennifer recalled. “I knew there was something going on that I did not understand.”

Once Jennifer identified the problem, she was able to get past a time in her life that she likes to call “the dark forest.” In 2017, she started a relationship with her new beau, Alex Rodriguez, and she admitted that it’s a healthy one.

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez
Getty Images

“It wasn’t until I met Alex that I felt like, ‘Okay, I can be in a relationship again,’” she said. “Everything feels healthy and different. We bring something to each other’s lives that is profound, good, and healthy.” How sweet!