You don’t get to be married for 38 years and not learn something along the way! In a new interview with People, Jay Leno candidly revealed the secret to his long and successful marriage to Mavis Leno — and said it obviously helps to be faithful.

“Not screwing around is a huge key. You can do a lot. You can leave your underwear on the doorknob for all you want if you don’t screw around,” he joked before getting very serious. “I always tell guys when they meet a woman: ‘Marry your conscience. Marry someone who you wish you could be and it works out OK.'” Aww!

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The 68-year-old comedian also admitted that before he met Mavis, 72, he had low self-esteem but, instead of letting it hinder his love life, he used it as an opportunity to learn and become a better partner. “I’m a huge believer in low self-esteem,” he confessed. “And if you have low self-esteem, you don’t think you’re the smartest.”

“The only people with high self-esteem are actors and criminals,” he joked. “Low self-esteem is good because you don’t automatically think you’re a genius. You don’t think you’re the smartest [person] and you listen to other people and you take advice.”

Jay said he tries his best to help his friends navigate the dating world with ease. He remembered some great advice he told one of his friends who was more concerned about his sex life than finding a life-partner. “I had this discussion with somebody once. He was like, ‘Oh I met this girl. She’s crazy but the sex is unbelievable!’ Jay recalled. “I go, ‘Great. But when the sex is over, she’s still crazy!’ Now you have a crazy person for 23 hours of the day when your not having sex.”

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Jay takes his own advice, too, and admits that, when he’s spending time with Mavis, it’s never stressful because they love each other immensely. “I’m a big car and motorcycle guy. My wife likes to travel,” he gushed about their hobbies. “We have a good time!”