After nearly 20 years of marriage, David Beckham and Victoria Beckham have finally figured out how to make things work — separately though. The pair is “leading very different lives” today, Us Weekly has reported.

Victoria recently decided she wanted to move her family from LA back to the UK, but even when Victoria and David are both at their Oxfordshire, England home, they’re not always together. “I think they quite like having somewhat separate lives. When you’ve been married that long, some regular distance does you both good!” the insider added of the pair, who previously married in July 1999.

The fashion designer wants to focus on her eponymous brand while her soccer player hubby is enjoying retired life. “Victoria just wants an easy life — she doesn’t want stress,” the source said. Meanwhile, David “does his own thing.” The insider added, “It’s not unusual for couples to change and grow apart.”

However, every day is different when it comes to how they treat each other. “They are like every married couple I know — some days lovey-dovey, other days cold,” another source said. “It comes with being together so long.”

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On their good days, Victoria has said that she and David really enjoy each other’s company. “David and I have a lot of fun together,” she shared, adding that her lackluster look in photos means nothing about their lives behind closed doors. “If I really was as miserable as I look in some of those paparazzi pictures, my children wouldn’t be as happy as they are. And I certainly wouldn’t be married anymore,” Victoria added.

Victoria and David are parents to four kids: Brooklyn, 18, Romeo, 15, Cruz, 13, and Harper, 6. “The kids are the common bond that will keep them united,” the insider told Us. “They will always be family.”