While she has a very bubbly and happy-go-lucky personality on screen, that isn’t always the case for Valerie Bertinelli, who recently revealed that she has been dealing with a rough time.

“I’m an everything’s fine girl and pretending everything’s okay,” the 59-year-old admitted during an interview with Today. “I’ve been working so hard for so long since I was 12-years-old and doing what everybody wants me to do for so long. I just want to know what true joy feels like.” The TV personality has been all about sharing recipes with her fans, focusing on healthy options.

However, Valerie also spoke about using “food as a way to not feel the sadness.”

Valerie Bertinelli
David Buchan/Variety/Shutterstock

“There’s a reason that I’ve gained weight and it’s emotional,” the Food Network personality said. “This is just a symptom of how unhappy I’ve let myself feel and become. I’m not going to let any mistakes that I make in 2020 define me as a failure. I will find a different way to look at it.” These days, Valerie is focusing on her health — she’s recently lost some weight.

“I want to not fake it until I make it anymore and I think a lot of people out there feel the same way I feel so, I thought, maybe, we can lean on each other,” she explained. “I have a real evil, unkind voice in my head that I’m always shutting up. I think a lot of us do. We just need to stop because we have this beautiful gift of life.”

The One Day At a Time alum will always be a fan of cooking and sharing meals with her followers though. “Being in the kitchen is like home for me, because I’m the boss and I call the shots,” the former actress exclusively told Closer Weekly. “I’m in control of what I’m doing and what I like.” Her son, Wolfgang, is also all about her food.

“He loves my turkey meatball soup when he’s not feeling well,” Valerie said. “He sometimes pretends to be sick just so I’ll make it for him!”

We just hope that Valerie finds a way to feel happiness everyday!