Ever since Selma Blair was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis in August 2018, the actress has just been trying to do the best she can. And in a raw new Instagram post, the 46-year-old star candidly opened up about the “uncontrollable anxiety” she suffers from due to her MS.
“There is a truth with neurodegenerative brain disease. It is uncomfortable. It is a stadium of uncontrollable anxiety at times. Going out, being sociable holds a heavy price,” she captioned a photo of herself cuddling a stuffed animal in the Sunday, Jan. 13 post. “My brain is on fire. I am freezing. We feel alone with it even though the loving support has been a godsend and appreciated.” Take a look at Selma’s photo below.
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There is a truth with neurogedenerative brain disease. It is uncomfortable. It is a stadium of uncontrollable anxiety at times. Going out, being sociable holds a heavy price. My brain is on fire. I am freezing. We feel alone with it even though the loving support has been a god send and appreciated. People write me asking how I do it. I do my best. But I choke with the pain of what I have lost and what I dare hope for. and how challenging it is to walk around . But my smiles are genuine. This is ok. Life is an adventure with many shards of awakening. I can’t sleep at night but daytime I have trouble staying awake . I am a grown woman holding onto a bear that belonged to a sister type of mine. ( thank you @k.d.w.r ) we do what we can. I have a full week ahead with mothering and appointments and things to look forward to. But like many of us, I am praying. Soaking in love where I can. It’s not easy. That’s ok. I send love to you. And by the way, this #eileenfisher sweater is my go to cozy tonight in this hotel room. Thank you. And @lorrigoddard_ I can’t thank you enough for the morale boost of blonde. And to my love @mrchrismcmillan 🖤 #humancondition #strengthinvulnerablity #MS #stillanactress #always #willmakeitwork #heartwideopen ❤️ #thisisforallofus. #littlethings
Not only does Selma’s MS influence her mental health but it puts a strain on her physically, too. “People write me asking how I do it. I do my best. But I choke with the pain of what I have lost and what I dare hope for. And how challenging it is to walk around,” she wrote. However, Selma has been trying to stay positive throughout this experience. “My smiles are genuine. This is ok. Life is an adventure with many shards of awakening,” she added.
Selma courageously revealed her MS diagnosis to her fans this past October, a few months after she had been diagnosed with the disease. “I have #multiplesclerosis. I am in an exacerbation. By the grace of the lord, and willpower and the understanding producers at Netflix, I have a job. A wonderful job. I am disabled. I fall sometimes. I drop things. My memory is foggy. And my left side is asking for directions from a broken GPS. But we are doing it. And I laugh and I don’t know exactly what I will do precisely but I will do my best,” she wrote via Instagram at the time.
Though Selma has had her fair share of tough days since her diagnosis, one of her brightest days came in mid-December when Selma had an emotional reunion with her beloved horse. The mom-of-one documented the special moment via social media after revealing MS had prevented her from riding for months.
“This happened,” Selma captioned a photo of herself hugging her horse. “My magical unicorn, #MrNibbles, held my body while I broke open with gratitude. I haven’t been able to ride for four months or more. I haven’t been able to get to him, so my saint of a trainer, @kjrides, brought him to me.”
“It was a fairytale,” she added. “My horse in my front yard, with more emotions than these words, can hold.”