The film Destroyer may have gotten Nicole Kidman a Golden Globe nomination, but it came at a price, as the role wore down the Australian actress.

The 51-year-old admitted to the New York Times that there were times that she would scream and growl on set in order to prepare herself to film some of the movie’s tough scenes. “She’s a dangerous person,” Nicole told the outlet of her character. “A lot of times, I would let out a huge yell or a growl before I would start, which I know sounds insane.” Nicole also added that she would “shut down” during filming and wouldn’t speak to anyone.

“When I showed up on set, I don’t think I spoke to anybody. I was shut down, but that’s Erin [her character,” Nicole said, adding that playing the character was freeing.

And while this role took a toll on Nicole, it also made her look very different to her daughters, seven-year-old Faith Margaret, and 10-year-old Sunday Rose, who said she looked like a “granny” after seeing her in her character’s prosthetics and makeup. “They called me ‘granny,’” Nicole recently told the Los Angeles Times. “They’re like, ‘You’re our granny now.’” Nicole also joked and told her daughters that she would be open to attending a grandparents’ day at their school while in makeup.

“I thought it’d be kind of quirky and funny and make for a good story for when they were older,” Nicole continued, adding that she would say, ”‘Oh… hello, Sunday! I’m here!’” as if she were Sunday’s grandmother. Nicole said, “And she’s just like, ‘Whatever you do, never, ever do that.’ So I won’t be dressing up as their granny — even though that’s what they called me!”

If watching a rugged Nicole isn’t your thing, you can also catch her in Aquaman, which is out now.