Her life has yet to be taken over by multiple sclerosis, but Jamie-Lynn Sigler has been forced to have some extremely difficult conversations with her husband and sons as a result. In an extremely heartbreaking essay she wrote for Shondaland.com, the former The Sopranos star candidly opened up about how she and Cutter Dykstra have prepared against the devastating disease she’s been battling for almost two decades.

“Sadly, [I’ve] had to have the talk with my husband about what we’d do in the worst of circumstances, where I thought out loud: If there ever was a mass shooting, you have to take the kids and run, and trust I will do my best to stay safe,” the 37-year-old penned, explaining that she doesn’t have the best movement with MS. “Just thinking about this still makes me tear up.”

Jamie-Lynn, who is the loving mom to kids Beau Kyle Dykstra, 5, and Jack Adam Dykstra, 14 months, explained that having these types of conversations is important because chronic illnesses like MS “becomes your whole family’s disease, not just your own. It affects our daily choices, and while sometimes I resent that, it has also made me see how strong I am.”

Today, Jamie-Lynn is one ferocious mama — parenting two little bundles of joy with her hubby when the thought of having kids years ago actually “terrified” her. “When I learned I was pregnant with my first son, Beau, six years ago, I was terrified,” she recalled in her writing. “I had to think about how my MS would affect someone else. (I say this, because my husband has made me feel since day one that this disease had no negative effect on us as a couple.) But with my son, his safety depended on me! His survival!”

The Call Me: The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss star went on to explain that her baseball player beau has always said her disease would never have any negative effect on their relationship. But Jamie-Lynn expressed that carrying a child in her womb brought along a lot of pressure for the first-time mom.

Cutter Dykstra, Actress Jamie Lynn Sigler, and son Beau arrive at Marvel Universe LIVE! Age Of Heroes World Premiere Celebrity Red Carpet Event
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“A million thoughts ran through my head. What if he runs off and I can’t chase him one day?” the brunette beauty continued. “What if I can’t carry him up and down the stairs? What if he won’t want to play with me because I can’t be the ‘fun mom’ who runs on the beach with him, or chases him around the house?”

Although there may be a day when Jamie-Lynn can’t keep up with her kids, she’s not letting that hold her back. Even though each day is “not without its challenges,” the mom-of-two is there “each and every day” for both her sons and husband. We’re sending all of our best wishes your way, lady!