It’s not all happiness and good times when you’re famous, and we’ve seen proof of that time and time again. And most recently, Jada Pinkett Smith revealed that once she made it in Hollywood, she had a very rough time with it all.

Speaking on her popular Facebook Watch series, Red Table Talk, the 47-year-old actress and wife of Will Smith says that she had suicidal thoughts once fame came knocking on her door. “I had an emotional breakdown that definitely, I feel like, affected my mental stability,” Jada said. “I had gotten to L.A. and gotten a certain amount of success and realized that that wasn’t the answer… that that wasn’t what was going to make everything OK… actually, it made things worse. And I became extremely suicidal and I had a complete emotional collapse.”

Jada Pinkett Smith
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Jada explains that this occurred when she was just 20 years old. She also recalls reaching out to her mother, Adrienne Banfield-Jones, “in a panic.” She explains, “It’s like when you just don’t have control over emotions, your thoughts — you feel completely and utterly out of control.” Jada isn’t the only person in her family who has struggled with fame as her daughter, 18-year-old Willow Smith, opened up earlier in the year about her Hollywood experience, saying, “It was after that whole ‘Whip My Hair’ thing and I had just stopped doing singing lessons and I kind was in this gray area of: ‘Who am I? Do I have a purpose? Is there anything I can do besides this?’ I was cutting myself and doing crazy things.”

Jada and Willow
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Jada has had no problem talking about her personal life in the past as earlier in the year she also spoke about her hair loss. “I’m gonna tell you, it was terrifying when it started,” Jada revealed. “I was in the shower one day, and then [I had] just handfuls of hair in my hands. And I was just like, ‘Oh my God, am I going bald?’ It was one of those times in my life where I was literally shaking in fear.” Jada added, “And my hair has been a big part of me. Taking care of my hair has been a beautiful ritual, and having the choice to have hair or not. And then, one day, to be like, ‘Oh my God, I might not have that choice anymore.'”

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.