It’s been nearly three years since David Bowie’s tragic death at 69, and his widow, Iman Bowie, still wears a gold chain with his name on it around her neck. “I will never remarry,” she declares in a new exclusive interview with Closer Weekly. “I mentioned my husband the other day with someone, and they said to me: ‘You mean your late husband?’ I said, ‘No, he is always going to be my husband.'”

The retired supermodel, 63, admits, “I do feel very lonely. But do I want a relationship? I can’t say never, but no, not now.” She has resisted offers from designers and agencies to recruit 18-year-old daughter Alexandria to follow in her footsteps on the runway. “I know why they want her,” she says. “It’s because she is David Bowie’s daughter.”

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And Iman’s not ready to share her family’s sorrow with the world: “I get the fans’ grief, but it’s not the same. They have lost someone they look up to; we have lost a husband and a father.”

Throughout her entire life, Iman has had many happy days. But the most special one? “When I met my husband,” she told Closer Weekly this past January. “We both had been married before, we both were at the right place in our lives to meet, and we fell in love.”

Iman and David were married from 1992 until his death in January 2016 from liver cancer. “We’ve had a hard couple of years,” she admitted at the Jay Manuel Beauty Retail Experience launch in Oct. 2017.

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Together, welcomed their daughter in 2000. “I’m fully immersed in that life now, trying to keep her safe and launch her out into adulthood.” Though she still mourns David’s loss, she thanks him. “If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have Alexandria.”

Even though it’s been three years since his death, Iman guarantees that he will never stray too far from her mind. “The world keeps his memory alive,” she said. “But with us, we feel he is around us all the time. Looking at his grandson, looking at his son. He’s with us.” She adds to Closer, “Falling in love with David changed my life.”

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