Though Gwyneth Paltrow is currently feeling “true happiness” after celebrating her engagement to Brad Falchuk, the mom-of-two still remembers the “dark place” she was in following the birth of her second child, 12-year-old son Moses. The actress spoke candidly about the experience with her mom Blythe Danner for the most recent episode of her Goop podcast.

“I think [it] was really shocking to me because I never thought that I would be a person who got post-natal depression,” the 45-year-old actress admitted. Gwyneth explained that she was particularly unprepared for feeling how she did after her daughter Apple’s 2004 birth was a completely different experience. “I was so euphoric when Apple was born, and I assumed it would happen with Mosey and it just… it took a while. I really went into a dark place,” she said.

Though the actress said she struggled in the months after Moses was born, she believes her suffering strengthened her bond with her son instead of damaging it. “After Moses was born I had postpartum depression. It was a difficult time, and because of that I believe I have an extra empathy for him, and he for me,” she previously told InStyle magazine.

Gwnyeth’s ex-husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, was the first person to identify her symptoms. “About four months into it, Chris came to me and said, ‘Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong.’ I kept saying, ‘No, no, I’m fine, ‘ she revealed to Good Housekeeping. “But Chris identified it, and that sort of burst the bubble.”

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Gwnyeth and her ex-husband, Chris.

During the podcast — which is airing in time for Mother’s Day — Gwyneth switched the tone of the episode and probed her mom for information on her love life. “From my standpoint, you’ve had this amazing life, not that it’s always been easy,” Gwyneth said to her mom, whose husband died from cancer in 2002. “But you have these wonderful friends and children that love you and grandchildren that adore you. You’ve had this incredible career. I just wonder, are there still things you really want to accomplish?”

Blythe replied, “You know, I’m happy to say that I really like my own company and I’ve become a bit of hermit, which I need to be careful of.” Gwyneth then joked about signing her mom up for online dating apps, but Blythe was not interested.

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Gwyneth and her mother, Blythe.

“Do you want a boyfriend?” Gwyneth asked, to which Blythe replied, “No. I have no interest. Really I don’t. If I got my heart broken, I’d probably jump off the railing. And I don’t want to be bored, so it’s one or the other.”

This post was written by Bettina Tyrrell. It originally appeared on our sister site, Now to Love.