In a recently unearthed interview with late actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, the Oscar winner’s thoughts on happiness are particularly poignant due to his untimely death in Feb. from a drug overdose.
The audio from the interview is placed over an animated video depicting Philip’s moving words, released as part of PBS Digital Studios’ “Blank on Blank” series, which takes lost dialogue from famous celebrities and creates videos to go along with it.
Recorded live on Dec. 17, 2012, less than 14 months before his death, the actor touches on his current emotions, his family and even his own mortality.
“I would definitely say pleasure is not happiness,” he tells the interviewer. “I think I kill pleasure. Like I take too much of it, and therefore make it unpleasurable…there is no pleasure I haven’t actually made myself sick on.”
He continues, “There’s a period of time in your life when I kind of look back, and I’m like, ‘Was I happy, or was I just not aware?'”
The Capote star attributes most of his joy to his three children — Cooper, Tallulah and Willa.
“In my life now…I have three children…and I think I’m happy when I’m with them and they’re ok,” Philip shares. “When I see them enjoying each other in front of me, then they let me enjoy them in turn, that brings a feeling, which I would say, is happiness.”
In an equally stirring yet eerie section of the interview, the New York-native opens up about how the past never truly leaves you.
After struggling with addiction as a young adult, Philip died of a heroin overdose on Feb. 2, 2014 following a relapse the year before.
“The past does creep in pretty quickly and that is a very difficult one on how to keep it there and not have it kind of ruin [your future].”
Watch the full video from PBS below: