This is one that is going to make you choke up a bit. It has only been four months since Sen. John McCain passed away from brain cancer — a death that was felt by people all around the world. And while most of us have moved on, of course, John’s loss will remain with the McCain family forever. John’s daughter, Meghan McCain, recently spoke out about the impact her dad’s death has had on her.

The 34-year-old took to Instagram to share a photo of her father celebrating his favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. “For some reason, I cried yesterday at the realization that I’m never going to see you rush downstairs again like you always used to do in the Capitol. It’s a strange thing to get upset over,” Meghan wrote. “You were always in a hurry and would walk down with this almost canter/hop because of your inability to bend your knee. It was always entertaining to watch and it occurred to me that you might be the only person in the world that moved down a staircase like that.”

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For some reason I cried yesterday at the realization that I’m never going to see you rush downstairs again like you always used to do in the capitol. It’s a strange thing to get upset over. You were always in a hurry and would walk down with this almost canter/hop because of your inability to bend your knee. It was always entertaining to watch and it occurred to me that you might be the only person in the world that moved down a staircase like that. I’m still waiting for you to call me on my phone, I’m still waiting to get on a flight to meet you for Christmas, I’m still waiting to be woken up from this bizarre nightmare/coma that was the last year watching what happens to a person who fights glioblastoma. I’m still waiting for a lot of things and guess I probably will be for the rest of my life… 113 days. You’re omnipresent in my life, heart and mind Dad and it still doesn’t feel real you aren’t here. I try and remind myself that the intensity of the pain of missing you is important because it is a reminder of how my love for you was so incredibly strong. That the pain I carry is the trade off I made for loving someone so purely and I wouldn’t change a thing about it, even now. I love you forever. Stay with me.

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Meghan then revealed that she still waits on her dad to do typical things. “I’m still waiting for you to call me on my phone, I’m still waiting to get on a flight to meet you for Christmas, I’m still waiting to be woken up from this bizarre nightmare/coma that was the last year watching what happens to a person who fights glioblastoma. I’m still waiting for a lot of things and guess I probably will be for the rest of my life… 113 days,” she said, referring to the number of days since her father’s passing.

Meghan added, “You’re omnipresent in my life, heart, and mind, Dad, and it still doesn’t feel real [that] you aren’t here. I try and remind myself that the intensity of the pain of missing you is important because it is a reminder of how my love for you was so incredibly strong. That the pain I carry is the trade-off I made for loving someone so purely and I wouldn’t change a thing about it, even now. I love you forever. Stay with me.”

John’s death came a few months before another political figure, George H.W. Bush, passed away in November. At the time, George’s granddaughter Jenna Bush Hager said, “He taught me and my family about service, family, decency, the power of gentle words and a beautiful heart. I will miss him desperately but so happy he and my Grandmother are back together.”