Not Today! The news of Matt Lauer‘s alleged sexual misconduct came as a shock to many, especially those who worked closely with him for years, Katie Couric included. Katie co-anchored the NBC morning show with Matt for a decade — but now, she doesn’t want to talk about his scandal anymore.

“She is really sick of being asked about Matt Lauer,” an insider told Us Weekly, adding that she feels “attacked” when questions regarding her former co-anchor come up.

However, she deals with it. “Katie answers when asked about Matt, even if she’s repeating herself,” another insider told the news outlet. “She understands the interest and answers.”

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Katie first broke her silence about Matt’s firing in December 2017. In her first comment on his downfall, she told an Instagram user the news was “incredibly upsetting.”

But even though months have gone by now, Katie has admitted the whole situation is still “painful” to deal with. “It’s been a very painful time for a lot of people who worked with Matt, knew him, really care about him, and who never witnessed or experienced any of this behavior that is now being talked about,” she shared on The Wendy Williams Show on Tuesday, May 1. “I don’t know the full extent of all these things that happened. I can only talk about my personal experience and I was always treated respectfully and appropriately.”

When asked if she thinks Matt will make a return to the small screen she replied that it would be “challenging” and it depends on “the path he chooses and how he [handles] what has happened.”

Earlier in April, Katie also admitted she’s still having trouble “separating truth from fiction” with this whole scandal. “I don’t think I have reconciled it, honestly, because it’s very upsetting and disappointing. I also really don’t know the details of these incidents still,” Katie told Buzzfeed on Tuesday, April 17. “And I think a lot of people who worked on the show when I was there, and when Matt and I did the Today show, don’t really understand the extent of these incidents or what exactly happened and, you know, separating truth from fiction.”

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Katie added, “So I’m still sort of sorting it out honestly in my mind and I think these ongoing conversations with other women of all ages — and men too, I think men need to be included in the conversation — are really helpful.”

In Katie’s same Instagram comment from when she broke her silence, she also said she would say something when she was ready to, and in January, she opened up about the scandal to People. “The whole thing has been very painful for me,” the 61-year-old said four months ago. “The accounts I’ve read and heard have been disturbing, distressing, and disorienting, and it’s completely unacceptable that any woman at the Today show experienced this kind of treatment.”

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She continued, “I had no idea this was going on during my tenure or after I left. I think I speak for many of my former colleagues when I say this was not the Matt we knew. Matt was a kind and generous colleague who treated me with respect. In fact, a joke I once made on late-night television was just that, because it was completely contrary to our brother-sister relationship. It’s still very upsetting. I really admire the way Savannah [Guthrie] and Hoda [Kotb] and the entire Today show staff have handled a very difficult situation.”

The “joke” she referenced may or may not have been the quote from her 2012 appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen — one that’s been making the rounds on social media ever since Matt’s behavior went public. When host Andy Cohen asked Katie for Matt’s most annoying habit, Katie said, “He pinches me on the a-s a lot.”

Katie addressed that comment that upset fans in May during an interview with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live!. “I was joking! It was a total joke,” she said. “But I was really sorry I had made that joke because people misconstrued it.”

Before the scandal, however, Katie raved about her former colleague. “Matt and I have undeniable chemistry in the most platonic sense of the word,” she told People. “We are like an old, married couple. We finish each other’s sentences.”

And in 2013, Katie told Howard Stern she had a “little crush” on Matt when he was the local news anchor at WNBC. “I thought he was so funny and so quick,” she explained. We’re sure those feelings have somewhat changed now.

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