Heartbreaking.

In a candid new interview, Sarah Ferguson opened up about her past battles with eating disorders — and revealed she once wished she suffered from bulimia so she could look as “beautiful” as Princess Diana.

The 57-year-old Duchess of York — who was once cruelly dubbed “The Duchess of Pork” by the media — made the surprising admission in a podcast interview with Dr. Vijay Murthy, an Ayurvedic doctor and naturopath.

MORE: “My Addiction Was Food” — Duchess Sarah Ferguson “Miserable” Before 55-Pound Weight Loss

“To wish you could have a mental illness to that level is a very serious place to get to,” Sarah said. “I was a binge-eater. I never could get bulimia because I just didn’t have that mental state to go that far, but I always wished I could.”

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Diana (left) and Sarah (right) in March 1988. (Photo Credit: Getty Images)

“But that just shows you how dangerous and what place I got to. To wish you could have a mental illness to that level is a very serious place to get to,” she continued. “My body and mind was in that place, but I couldn’t actually act out to make myself sick. I then grew and grew and grew.”

MORE: Sarah Ferguson “Devastated” After Split With Much-Younger Boyfriend Manuel Fernandez

Sarah — who is Prince Andrew’s former wife — confessed that much of her motivation came from wanting to be as “beautiful and thin” as her then sister-in-law, Diana. The late royal is believed to have suffered from bulimia nervosa. “I tried, but of course it never went that way,” she said.

The Duchess — who spoke largely of her amazing recovery during the interview — said she hoped to be a “human bridge” for others who suffer from eating disorders.

Sarah also has ambitions to establish a franchise of kindergartens around the world to teach children about healthy eating and develop a line of nutritional sauces.

MORE: Princess Diana Called Prince Charles the Wrong Name During Their Wedding Ceremony

It’s no doubt an exciting time for the mother-of-two, as it’s widely-speculated her daughter, Princess Eugenie, may soon become engaged to her boyfriend-of-seven-years Jack Brooksbank.

While the pair aren’t running down the aisle just yet, they’re definitely heading in the right direction. Last year, Jack was invited to join the royal family at Queen Elizabeth’s Balmoral estate in Scotland — a very telling sign that he’s been accepted into the family.

This story originally appeared on NowToLove.com.

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