This is heartbreaking. A never-before-heard series of interview tapes were released to the public 20 years after Princess Diana‘s tragic death — and in one recording, the late People’s Princess sadly described her wedding to Prince Charles as the “worst day” of her life.

“[My wedding was the] worst day of my life. If I could write my own script, I would have my husband go away with his woman and never come back,” Diana said, referring to Charles’ infamous affair with longtime love Camilla Parker Bowles during both their courtship and marriage.

She also had doubts right after they got engaged. “I went upstairs, had lunch with my sisters who were there, and I said, ‘I can’t marry him. I can’t do this. This is absolutely unbelievable,'” Diana said in one recording. “And they were wonderful and said, ‘Well, bad luck, Duch. Your face is on the tea towel, so you’re too late to chicken out.'”

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Charles and Diana on their 1981 wedding day. (Photo Credit: Getty Images)

In the footage, Diana also candidly recalled first meeting Charles back in November 1997 — and revealed they only went on 13 dates before tying the knot at London’s St. Paul’s Cathedral on July 28, 1981. “He’d ring me up every day for a week and then he wouldn’t speak to me for three weeks… Very odd,” she said. “And the thrill when he used to ring up was so immense and intense.”

The mother-of-two also spoke openly about her sex life with Charles. “[There was] never a requirement for it from him. Once every three weeks about and I kept thinking it followed a pattern. He used to see his lady, [Camilla], once every three weeks before we got married,” Diana said.

These explosive interview tapes of Diana were previously recorded at the royal’s Kensington Palace residence between 1992 and 1993. The footage was shown to the world through the documentary titled Diana: In Her Own Words, which aired on the UK’s Channel 4 in early August and in the Us in mid-August.

“Combined with historical context and interviews with her closest confidants, this film provides a nuanced, multi-layered portrait of the most famous woman in the world and a mother who has shaped the future line of the royal family,” Channel 4’s Deputy Chief Creative Officer Ralph Lee said of the documentary. “This film gives Diana a voice and places it front and center at a time when the nation will be reflecting on her life and death. It is her account of events both private and public and is an important contribution to the historical record.”

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