Supermodel Paulina Porizkova is speaking out about a topic that most women usually want to avoid: aging. In a new interview, the 53-year-old star candidly revealed that it “sucks” growing older in the public eye. 

“It sucks. When your entire life has consisted of looking good, aging publicly, in a word, sucks. This is not for the faint-hearted,” Paulina told NewBeauty in the magazine’s Fall/Winter issue. 

Paulina also admitted that she sometimes becomes envious of her friends who aren’t famous because they don’t have to stress about how much aging affects their careers. “It’s not going to war every day as it is for me,” she revealed. 

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La Dolce Vita. 🍡

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The self-proclaimed feminist additionally opened up about how she tries to find the perfect balance between looking her best without making herself look unrecognizable. “You’re not quite sure what age you look, or you let yourself age and then you have to battle with your ego,” she explained before listing reasons as to why public figures may feel pressured to look younger. “‘People are making fun of what I look like now.’ Or, ‘Hey, look at this beautiful woman who turned into this hideous old thing.'”

Paulina added that “it makes me feel like I’m in between two worlds because I do want to be pretty and I don’t want to look old, and at the same time, I would like to be seen as pretty for who I am and not for fixing what looks old. I’m really insecure about it.”

As for fillers or Botox, Paulina revealed that she has not yet dipped her toes in that pond. Her reasoning? She revealed she “doesn’t like when people’s faces don’t move.” And though Paulina has experience with Ultherapy — a non-invasive treatment that heats tissue to tighten skin — she wishes models and actresses who do utilize fillers and Botox were more vocal about it.

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“I really love it when women admit to doing them! I hate, personally, when somebody has obviously had things done but they claim the reason they look so good is yoga and water,” Paulina stressed. “I get a little resentful. I think, ‘You’re lying.’ That’s not fair because, as models, we represent an idea of femininity, and if you are lying about it, then the girls who look up to you are being lied to.”

Though most supermodels and actresses rely on their looks, Paulina wants everyone to know that she will not let her beauty define her at the end of the day. “I don’t want to have to go to war with my looks. And I don’t want to start trying to look 20 years younger,” she expressed. “I’m constantly battling with myself internally saying, ‘Come on, beauty is not that important! Let go of being so vain and focus more on the things you can do!’”