In an ongoing court case against two former assistants, Nigella Lawson has admitted to using cocaine and marijuana in the past after the defendants’ explosive claim that she abused the substances for more than a decade.

"I would rather be honest, if ashamed, and explain the drug usage, but I wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to be bullied [with] lies," the celebrity chef, 53, said at the trial, according to The Telegraph.

Italian sisters Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo, who are accused of stealing more than £685,000 ($1,119,000) from Lawson and her ex-husband Charles Saatchi, have denied the fraud charges, claiming that they were allowed to spend the couple’s money freely in exchange for their silence. The two also testified about “being treated worse than Filipino slaves” while working for the couple.

Though she admitted to using the various substances, Lawson denies abusing any of them. "I am not proud of the fact that I have taken drugs,” she said, “but that does not make me a drug addict or a habitual drug user.”

It is unclear when a verdict will be reached in the case.