Actress Nicole Kidman has played a ton of challenging roles throughout her career. But the Oscar-winning star revealed that she was “very, very deeply depressed” while filming for her new movie, Destroyer.

“It was the point where my husband was like, ‘When the hell is this going to end?'” the 51-year-old admitted to Variety. The role was so grueling that Nicole even said the directors were considering someone else to play the character. “Then the other actress didn’t want to do it. I was like, ‘I want to.'”

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Nicole had to undergo a complete transformation for her role as Erin Bell, an LAPD detective who must go undercover to take down a gang in the California desert. The transformation was so good, it left her nearly unrecognizable. Her drastic change included wearing a facial prosthetic and learning how to walk with a limp.

The Australian-born actress said her metamorphosis was so convincing, her husband, Keith Urban, was concerned. “Wouldn’t you be weirded out if you were married to one person, and they show up looking like that?” she proposed.

Luckily for Nicole, she has a ton of experience in acting. However, there were many other things she had to train for. Since the role in the action-packed movie is a police detective, Nicole was required to undergo an exhausting training with a military veteran. There, she had to learn how to use guns and assault rifles.

“All of the weapons, I can load them, I can fire them, I know them. I trained for about a month, but every day,” Nicole admitted. “It was cold, and I was tired, and I would just train. And my hands cramped, because I don’t have big hands and I don’t have strong hands. It was awful.”

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Despite the complications she had when becoming the character, director Karyn Kasama knew Nicole was a perfect fit for the movie. “She talked a lot about shame, what it does to your body and mind,” Karyn also weighed in. “I realized a couple of things. One, she was going to fully embody the character in another physicality. And I knew she was going to bring a humanity to the character.”

We don’t know about you, but we are so excited to see Nicole star in this movie. If you’re interested in watching her on the big-screen, Destroyer is out on Jan. 25!