Everyone remembers the shock when we learned that Senator John McCain had passed away in August 2018 after a battle with cancer. And, of course, no one felt that more than his children, especially his daughter Meghan McCain. The co-host of The View recently sat down with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live to discuss her father’s funeral and the aftermath.

During John’s emotional service, Meghan, 34, had to give a speech in front of friends, family, and past presidents and, while speaking with Andy, she recalled how difficult that moment truly was. “I can never do anything like that again, ever,” the former Fox News contributor revealed. “It was so intense. I’ve never taken drugs, but it’s what I imagine being on drugs would have been like. You just look out and there’s every president, notable figure.” Meghan continued, “And when I was walking up I was like, ‘I can’t believe my father wanted me to do this.’ I really wanted to be in the moment. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life and by far the hardest and worst.”

Meghan McCain Funeral Speech
Getty Images

Meghan also touched on how tough it has been to appear on television again since her father’s passing. “First of all, there was a time in my life when I didn’t even think I could come back to New York and I didn’t think I could ever see someone like you again,” she told Andy. “I didn’t think I could appear on a fun show again. I was so heartbroken and dead. So I’m really happy just to be here and alive. America’s support for my family, I think you’re not going to see that again for generations. It was incredible and I’m still grateful.”

John’s daughter, of course, has plenty of friends and family who have supported her during this time, but there’s one person who Meghan says has really been a pillar for her. “I probably wouldn’t be here without Joe Biden,” she revealed. “I don’t know if I would have really survived it without him. We obviously disagree politically and if he runs for president I have to quit The View because I can’t say anything bad about him. I don’t think I could do it.”

Meghan McCain Joe Biden
Getty Images

Last month, Meghan took to Instagram to share with everyone her feelings at the time, as she shared a photo of her dad with the caption, “For some reason, I cried yesterday at the realization that I’m never going to see you rush downstairs again like you always used to do in the Capitol.” She added, “It’s a strange thing to get upset over. You were always in a hurry and would walk down with this almost canter/hop because of your inability to bend your knee. It was always entertaining to watch and it occurred to me that you might be the only person in the world that moved down a staircase like that.”