On paper, Jennifer Lopez has been married three times — but, if you ask her, not all of those marriages count. In a new mini-documentary she released to YouTube on Thursday, June 13, the 49-year-old gets real about husbands Ojani Noa, Cris Judd and Marc Anthony.

“I’ve been married three times, and once was nine months and once was 11 months, so I don’t really count those,” the “I’m Real” singer explained. “But I was married to Marc for 10 years, with the kids. I was very young the first two times I tried to get married.”

J. Lo admitted to being in a rush to tie the knot at first because she didn’t like going to bed alone. “It seems like in this life you’re always surrounded by people, you’re never lonely — but it’s very lonely. So you always want somebody with you,” she said. “And I felt like if I got married, I felt like I would always have somebody, but that’s not how life works.”

Even though Jennifer’s love life didn’t go exactly as planned, she learned that getting married for company was “a bad reason” to spend your life with someone. It wasn’t until her new fiancé, Alex Rodriguez, stepped into her life that J. Lo realized exactly what marriage should be about.

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“We just get along,” the mom of two previously gushed on Today. “We just complement each other. He’s super supportive. He allows me to be who I am, and I want him to shine in the greatest way possible and be his best self. We just help each other be better people in a way.”

We’re so happy you found your forever guy, Jennifer!