Hollywood marriages can be hard sometimes, and for Jada Pinkett Smith, it was a “painful” experience for her to watch her colleagues get divorced. In a new Instagram post shared on Sunday, Aug. 26, Jada opened up about the difficulties she faced watching people end their marriages.

“I’ve been watching a lot marriages dissolve around me. It’s been really painful. Marriages change. Sometimes they need to be reimagined and transformed. Sometimes they are simply over,” she wrote. “But either way, I pray that folks going thru this painful transition find the patience and the love within to not throw the ‘babies’ out with the bath water. #family ?: @existentialcrisisboy.”

Jada, 46, and her husband, Will Smith, 49, tied the knot 21 years ago and are proud parents to their son, Jaden Smith, 20, and their daughter, Willow Smith, 17. Jada and Will first started dating in the early ’90s and in her new Facebook talk show Red Table Talk, Jada recalled being involved with Will while he was still dating his ex-wife, Sheree Zampino.

“Because I did not understand marriage, I did not understand divorce, I probably should have fell back,” she said. Although the experience taught Jada a lot about marriage and motherhood, she now doesn’t like to be considered a married woman. 

“We don’t even say we’re married anymore,” Will previously revealed on an episode of Tidal’s Rap Radar. “We refer to ourselves as ‘life partners,’ where you get into that space where you realize you are literally with somebody for the rest of your life.” 

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He added that since they have such a great bond, it would be hard for them to break up. “There’s nothing she could do ― ever ― nothing would break our relationship. She has my support until death and it feels so good to get to that space.”