She’s getting candid about her past. In a new interview, actress Kirstie Alley reflected on her past fling with John Travolta, and also commented on the long-standing rumors about the Grease star’s sexuality. 

When asked if she thinks John, 64, is gay on The Dan Wootton Interview podcast, the 67-year-old replied, “No, I don’t. I mean, I know pretty well — and I know the love… “

Perhaps Kirstie knows John is not gay because she was actually in love with him at one point in her life, but she chose not to pursue their relationship in an effort to stay loyal to her husband at the time, Parker Stevenson. “John would agree it was mutual that we sort of fell in love with each other,” she confessed.

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“I will say it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, the hardest decision I’ve ever made because I was madly in love with him — we were fun and funny together,” Kirstie added of their 1989 romance while co-stars in the comedy Look Who’s Talking. “It wasn’t a sexual relationship because I’m not going to cheat on my husband. But you know I think there are things that are way worse than sexual relationships, than cheating on someone that way.”

She continued, “I consider what I did even worse because I actually let myself fall in love with him and stay in love with him for a long time.”

You may be wondering about John’s now-wife, Kelly Preston, 55. John actually met her before he began filming Look Who’s Talking with Kirstie, but they didn’t start dating until after he realized it wasn’t going to work out with Kirstie. “When it became very apparent that I was staying married, he started seeing Kelly again,” she shared.

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However, even after Kelly and John married in 1991, Kirstie was still expressing her affection for John. “Kelly came up to me — and they were married then — and she said, ‘Erm, why are you flirting with my husband?'” the Cheers star revealed. “And that was sort of when I had to make a decision and that was pretty much the end of that.”

However today, they’re all close friends despite the awkwardness that may have happened back in the 1990s — and it’s likely because Kirstie has acknowledged that it never would have worked out between her and John. “John and I would have devoured each other because John and I are so alike. It would be like two blazing stars that just fizzled out,” she shared. “And it turned out great because we’ve remained best friends all these years. They live next door to me! We’d come through the fence. It’s pretty funny.”