Ina Garten has always been crazy about her husband Jeffrey Garten, but there was a time early in their marriage when she almost called it quits. In her new memoir, Be Ready When the Luck Happens (out October 1), the Food Network star opens up about how running her own business — the NY-based specialty food store Barefoot Contessa — “shattered” their traditional roles as husband and wife.

“While I was still cooking, cleaning, shopping, managing at the store, I was doing it as a businesswoman, not a wife,” writes Ina, 76. “Jeffrey was fully formed and living the life he wanted to live. I wasn’t, and I wouldn’t be able to figure out who I was or what I wanted unless I was on my own. I needed that freedom.”

After a period of living separately, Ina explained to Jeffrey that she wanted to be equal partners in their relationship, and if he wanted her back, he’d need to see a therapist. “One hour, that’s all Jeffrey needed,” Ina told People. “He went once for an hour and totally got it.”