This is heartbreaking. Harry Connick Jr. and his wife, Jill Goodacre, had the scare of a lifetime when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2012.

“I was scared I was going to lose her, absolutely,” Harry, 50, told People in a new interview. “I wasn’t going to let her see that, but I was. I know from losing my mom that the worst can happen. She’s my best friend, and I really don’t know what I would do without her.” The Will & Grace star lost his mom when he was 13 years old to ovarian cancer.

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When Jill was just 48 years old, she went in for a routine mammogram that came back clear. But, after a sonogram, she learned she had stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma. And while the radiation and lumpectomy were difficult, Jill says the hardest part was telling the couple’s three daughters, Georgia, 21, Sarah, 20, and Charlotte, 15. “It broke my heart,” she said.

And after a five-year-long private treatment, Jill is finally ready to open up about her battle. “It wasn’t like we were superstitious, like if we said something about being in the clear we’d somehow jinx it,” she said. “But we wanted to be well on the other side of things before we told everybody. The doctors all say that after the five-year mark, things look optimistic, so we’re starting to feel pretty good.”

“It’s not something that’s just going to go away like it never happened,” the 53-year-old added. “I’ll always be a little nervous, always having to get checked, always hoping it doesn’t come back.”

Jill’s biggest supporter throughout this difficult time has been her hubby, Harry. One of the side effects for the former Victoria’s Secret model has been weight gain. “I’ve always been a pretty fit person, and so to be just rounder and heavier and not to really be able to do much about it — that’s been hard. It’s taken a lot out of my self-confidence,” she said. Harry sweetly added, “It’s a part of how the cancer and the treatment impacted her, and it was a real issue, even though she will always be the most beautiful woman in the world.” We’re so glad Jill is feeling better today!