Recent tabloid reports have claimed that talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and her wife of five years Portia de Rossi are headed for splitsville. But the comedian felt the need to address those rumors during the opening monologue of her talk show, Wednesday.

"The other day I'm at the hair salon getting these extensions," DeGeneres joked as she pointed to her pixie cut. "And there's tabloids all over the hair salon – that's where they are, I guess. All of a sudden I notice one sitting on the counter in front of me [and] it caught my eye because Portia and I were in the top right-hand corner and I thought, 'Oh, that's sweet, they're honoring us,' " she said.

"And then I read the headline underneath and it said 'Ellen and Portia's Marriage Crumbles.' I was like, 'Oh, what happened? They seemed so happy," DeGeneres joked.

Even though the 55-year-old typically doesn’t read tabloids because she doesn’t like “letting that energy in,” she was curious to read what the report had to say.

"So I get the magazine and I'm flipping through it and there's one page torn out," she explained. "The only page torn out was my story … I will never know what's tearing my marriage apart."

Though her salon story garnered a lot of laughs, DeGeneres got serious for a moment and expressed, "there's not one ounce of truth to any of it."

“I am very happily married. The only thing we ever argue about is who loves who more, it really is true. And … we argue if we would let a kangaroo carry us in a pouch for a year."

She went on to tell the audience that she will always be honest with them. "If there's anything you need to know, I will announce it here first."

Take a look at Ellen’s monologue below.