He’s a different type of dad! After his mother, Pattie Daly Caruso, died last year, Carson Daly started raising his kids, Jackson, 10, Etta, 6, and London, 4, very differently. The 45-year-old cohost admitted to Hoda Kotb during a recent Today show episode that losing his mom made him “scared” to love his children so much.

“My parents were overly proud,” he confessed on the talk show. “I sometimes try to love my kids less, almost on purpose because I’m so scared of loving them too much.” Carson’s mom died from a heart attack at age 73 in September 2017 and one month later, his stepfather Dick Caruso, also sadly passed away.

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“My mom especially loved me so much. It was almost too much. And I know that now because when she died, the hurt was a transference of the love. It hurt so much because I’m so bummed that that love isn’t there anymore. And that’s a byproduct of her love for me,” he shared. “That’s the greatest gift you can give your kids, but it’s scary. It’s a scary proposition too. I find myself falling in love with my kids and I almost want to put a little bit of a guard there out of fear.”

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One year after his mother died, Carson posted a sweet tribute to Pattie on Instagram and revealed that it was not easy for him to move on after her death. “[One] year later, I’m still reeling over the loss,” he said. “I slept in the same exact hotel bed last night where I got the call. At The Emmys. Surreal. I miss you every day and love you always. I don’t know why you’re gone, but I’m positive we will be together again. This love is too strong.”