What a harrowing experience.
Nicole Kidman's raw portrayal of a domestic abuse victim on HBO's Big Little Lies left a lasting impression on viewers (and, fingers crossed, Emmy Award voters), and so too, it seems, the much-loved actress.
"I felt very exposed and vulnerable and deeply humiliated at times," the 50-year-old actress confessed in a new interview. "[After one scene] I remember lying on the floor in the bathroom… and I just wouldn’t get up in-between takes."
"I was just lying there, sort of broken and crying, and I remember at one point [director Jean-Marc Vallée] coming over and just sort of placing a towel over me because I was just lying there in half-torn underwear and just basically on the ground with nothing on and I was just, like [gasps]," Nicole told W Magazine.
Nicole with BLL co-star Alexander Skarsgård. (Photo Credit: R/R)
"I [thought], 'This is authentic, this is the truth and this is what I have to do,'" she continued. "And it would just come through like that."
The mom-of-four even admitted it was hard for her leave the difficult scenes behind when she left the Big Little Lies set at the end of the day. "I would keep on a very brave face at work and then I would go home and I didn’t realize how much it had penetrated me. It affected me in a deep way," Nicole recalled.
"When I would go home, I would feel ashamed, and that’s the same emotions and the same feelings that [my character] Celeste was having," she told W Magazine. "So we were very much parallel in the feelings."
Reese, Shailene Woodley, and Nicole on BLL. (Photo Credit: R/R)
Though filming BLL was tough, Nicole said she felt it was important for her to take on the role. "I’m glad that it’s created the conversation. I’m glad that it sort of pulled the veil off," she said. "I’ve received the most amazing e-mails from people saying I now understand why women stay or why people stay with an abuser."
"If that changes one person’s life, that’s amazing for me," Nicole added.
This isn't the first time Keith Urban's wife has opened up about her Big Litlte Lies role. Nicole previously revealed she was "covered in deep, massive bruises" after filming the violent scenes, which distressed her husband, Keith. "He was devastated seeing it but then he would say, 'But I have an artist wife!'" she told The Hollywood Reporter.
There’s no official word yet on whether or not a second season of the hit drama will hit our television screens, but the cast continue to drop some very telling hints — including Nicole, who, by the way, co-produced the series.
"If the storyline could be powerful and compelling," she said during a recent chat with Variety. "If there is a way to form these women’s lives further, that’s really interesting. It would be so lovely if we could do [another season]."
Meanwhile, fellow Big Little Lies co-star Laura Dern — who played Renata — told Us Weekly that there has been talk about Season 2. "There’s curiosities, so it would certainly be a pleasure to get to do it more," she said. "I love my character so much, so it would be a blast."
Despite the cast’s enthusiasm for a second season, not all involved want to see the story opened up again. Director Jean-Marc has shot down the idea of another go around. "To do a season two, I’m not for it," he told THR. "Big Little Lies 2? Nah. We won’t give you a season two because it’s so good like this. Why spoil it."
Part of this story originally appeared on NowToLove.com.