Jenna Bush Hager wasn’t exactly reading about her school crush when she recently found her fourth grade diary. Instead, the former first daughter revealed she found a New Year’s resolution written by her 10-year-old self to lose weight.

“Dear Diary, Happy New Year!” she read aloud from the diary to Hoda Kotb during a Today episode earlier this week. “The first thing I wanted to do [was] lose four pounds, and by the way I spelled it ‘loes’ so obviously I needed to take up spelling.”

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Jenna, age six, with her parents and twin sister in August 1987.

“That broke my heart,” Jenna, 34, admitted. “And my sister, [Barbara Pierce Bush], told me that she found it four years before, but she never told me because it broke her heart.”

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After rereading her upsetting preteen diary entry, Jenna revealed she has decided to stop obsessing over her weight in 2016! “This year I have decided a decisive ‘NO!’ — even though I have a four-month-old [baby] and weight to lose, not to mention a job which also publicly adds ten pounds. Or so they say!” she said.

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Jenna in September 2015.

“Because of my job, my looks are open to constant discussion on social media,” she continued. “But I’ve decided that none of these matter enough to add ‘lose weight’ to the list of goals I love making for myself every year.”